Monthly Archives: June 2006

June’s Squares

I’m so behind with my posts… here’s my squares for June’s CL Granny Square exchange. : )

Below are from the first round of swaps, and the one with the interlocking rings has special significance. I married my beloved on May 13th, and I wanted to make something to commemorate the event. I’m currently making him a ‘ghan with my 6 inch squares for this swap, so it was natural for me to make a square. The red ring signifies Daniel, and the blue one signifies me. I made 2 – one for Daniel’s afghan and one for my first exchange partner after we married.

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These 2 below are from the second exchange round for June, both of which are linked from Martha’s site here. They’re the Pluto square and Haze square respectively. I hate the Pluto square, btw. The pattern just didn’t make any sense, but I think I did a pretty good job of muddling right along.

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Is it me, or does everyone get vertigo when viewing overhead pics of my squares??? *lol*

A Hooker Poem

this came across the wire this morning, posted to my Happy Hookers yahoo group. yeah, it’s true. : )

A Hooker Poem

My wife is a hooker,
Of this she’s mighty proud,
And the stories of her exploits,
Are legends in our town.
She’s shameless with her talents,
She’ll go hooking anywhere,
And if people want to watch her,
She really doesn’t care.
It seems to be a family thing,
Her mother taught her how.
Seems her grandma was a hooker,
and my daughter’s hooking now.
She goes to Hookers’ meetings,
to learn the new techniques.
She starts hooking in a frenzy,
and won’t talk to me for weeks.
She doesn’t do the housework,
She doesn’t make the beds,
No she doesn’t have time for that,
She’d rather hook instead.
My wife, she is a hooker,
and I curse that awful day,
when she first picked up the hook and yarn,
and learned how to Crochet!!

Google, the Dictionary

one of my favorite Google features, Google, the Dictionary!

in the search box, type ‘define:whateverwordyouwant.’ any definition indexed will return in the search list. Google is also sweet enough to offer links to related phrases above the search results. here, give it a try define:crochet

pretty cool, huh?

New Words for 2006 – Essential Vocab for the Workplace

got this a bunch of months ago, and in cleaning out my joke email box, i decided this was certainly worthy of further dissemination on the Internet. i am particularly fond of ‘seagull manager’ and ‘percussive maintenance’. additionally, i certainly identify with Salmon Days and working just below the Adminisphere.

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Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people’s heads pop over the walls to see what’s going
on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben
wedding (or not) was a prime example – Michael Jackson, another…

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error
Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be
located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an
email by mistake)

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.