I got fired today. *lol*

It was not a good morning, not by any means. My little one was sleeping in, and pushing our time table into the danger zone, so I go in and try to gently wake her. She, my happy creature, buries her head under the covers and ignores me. This is not a good sign.

I finally rouse her and we sit down at the breakfast table over oatmeal.

(child glares)

“Mommy, I didnt want oatmeal! I wanted waffles! How could you give me oatmeal?”

“Well, Lila, I thought you could use a little variety, and besides, you like oatmeal. It’s peach.”

“Well… not this orange kind! I dont like orange!” (mind, this is the exact same peach oatmeal we’ve been eating successfully for years)

“Okay, I’m sorry. However, it is too late now to make a new breakfast (Mommy glancing nervously at the clock, as we are now officially 5 minutes over schedule). I suggest you eat what you’ve got. I will make you waffles next time.”

(child takes bite.)

“AAAUGH, Mommy! This is too hot!!!” Um, have I mentioned that it’s been sitting for nearly 15 minutes as I wake the child, then proceed to argue with the child for the remaining 10?

“Really? Interesting. Well, tell you what. You go get dressed and I will put this in a tupperware for you to take to daycare.” We then ‘discuss’ this for 3 more minutes until the child finally stamps away, waiving its limbs and carrying on about not liking to eat breakfast at daycare.

5 mins later –

“Lila, how would you like your hair brushed today? A ponytail? Braids?”

“I cant decide, Mommy! You decide for me. You pick.” I then proceed to brush her hair and pull her bangs out of her face, pinning them with a bobby pin. I brush the rest. It looks really lovely.

“What is this? Mommy, this is awful! This is horrible! Why didnt you do a pony tail? Or braids?”

“Well, you said it was my pick. Get your shoes.”

“But Mommy, my hair is ugly and I hate it! It’s awful!”

“Okay, then fix it at school. We dont have time now. GET YOUR SHOES, PLEASE!”

“But Mommy -”


(child bursts into tears, gets shoes, and finally makes it to the car)

“Mommy! You were supposed to do my hair in a way I liked it! Not like this! A pony tail, or braids!”

“Lila, you did say it was my choice. So, I chose. I love your hair and I think it’s beautiful. If you dont like it, have a teacher re-do it for you at school.”

“Mommy, it’s not what I want!”

“Well, you said it was what *I* wanted! So I picked it, and I like it! If you wanted just a pony tail or braids, you should have said something. You need to work on your communication skills, Lila.”

“That’s it! You’re fired!”

(Mommy laughs hysterically, enraging the child)


Daniel suggests I unionize so I can strike if I’m unhappy with conditions. : )

2 thoughts on “Fired!

  1. Linda (MOM)

    It’s nice to know that the family tradition is being carried on. Even though the term used was NEVER “you’re fired,” I still felt as if I was at various times. You are a patient mommy! Love you, Mom


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