We have this tree…

So we have this tree… It’s called a “Fruit Cocktail” tree. Why? Because some brilliant person grafted orange, lemon, and grapefruit branches to generic root stalk. We call it FrankenTree. It is the meanest tree I’ve ever met… it has long, 3 inch spiky thorns and jabs at you as you walk by. We all have scars from its massively long, stinging talons, and I’m surprised none of us have lost an eye to the damn thing. Does it make fruit? Sort of. It makes green things that stay on it for 8-10 months, then turn brown and fall on you as you wander nearby. Some of them turn yellow. And they’re *huge* We call them FrankenFruit.

Daniel decided to prune FrankenTree this morning. Unfortunately, he failed to notify me of this event, so I have no before/during pics. Therefore, I must improvise.

I do, however, have some pics after the event. Here’s me, a *much* shorter and less bushy looking FrankenTree (omg, it looks normal!), and it’s bizarrely huge FrankenFruit. And the cat, most likely wondering what we’re doing playing around in the wet grass. Yes, do feel free to make fun of my cowboy pjs. I think they’re a hoot.

And of course I also grabbed a snap of FrankenFruit. Here, we see FrankenFruit next to normal fruit, an orange and 2 grapefruits, purchased from Vons.

Notice how FrankenFruit is homogeneous looking, nubby, and generally malformed. The first year I lived here, each side of the tree produced distinct orange/grapefruit/lemon looking fruit. Not this year. FrankenFruit is mostly the same irrespective of its original location on FrankenTree and very lemony in its apperance. I think I’ll try to eat one. Daniel says, “Sure, I help you. I’ll call 911 when you keel over.” Gee, thanks, hun.

I chose the normalest looking one that looked the most like a sweet fruit. It was a lemon (but it sure does smell good), and full of seeds (anybody want their own FrankenTree? lmk). But, a sweeter than normal lemon. So, I dub FrankenFruit Edible. Maybe I’ll make some lemonade. : )

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One thought on “We have this tree…

  1. navi

    this cracked me up! citrus trees are really fabulous at self-creating hybrids. if you put a lemon tree next to an orange tree the cross pollination from your friendly neighborhood bees will (within a few growing seasons) create some sort of hybrid. your tree has essentially three different kinds of tree and therefore blossoms in close proximity to each other. all that good stuff equals FrankenFruit ;0)~

    Reply

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