Tag Archives: funny

Crochet Terms Defined

Crochet Terms Defined

Do those crochet terms and abbreviations have you
stumped? Read on…

Pattern: A set of written instructions that may or may
not result in creating the object in the picture. Most
patterns include a list of supplies, but this is for
your amusement only. After all, Amazonian Rhesus yarn
in smoky turquoise does not exist, and cannot be
obtained. Patterns also have fun-to-do math problems, such as 1
dc in next 7 dc (34 dc made)… ?!

Yo: Yarn Over, meaning you need to wrap your yarn over
your hook. Of course, this assumes the yarn doesn’t
split, fray or tangle. If this happens, yo then stands
for, “Yell Outrageously.”

Dtrtrc: Double-treble- treble-crochet. This is a
stitch where you yo four zillion times, insert hook in
stitch and pull through the next two loops, repeating
until all loops are off the hook, or until the end! of
time, whichever comes first.

Reverse sc: This stitch is the lefty’s revenge on all
of us righties – for once we have to work backwards,

Catalog: A dangerous device that hypnotizes
crocheters. It lulls them into a catatonic state,
causing them to spend the family’s grocery money on
patterns and yarn. It may also be an evil plot to
cause the downfall of the American economy.

Hook: A device permanently attached to a crocheter’s
hand. It is also connected to her blood supply, and if
for some reason it becomes dislodged from her hand,
she breaks into a sweat and starts to feel faint. If
the hook
cannot be immediately replaced, the only valid
substitute is a catalog (see above).

Yarn: The only reason sheep farms still exist! It’s
also what crocheters buy when they have money; if
there’s any cash left over, they buy food and clothes.

Doily: This seemingly innocent item looks like a table
protector, but if someone actually tries to put a wet
glass or an ashtray on it, the creator will instantly
turn into a snarling Doberman. Use doilies at your own

Cat: A non-mechanical device used for unraveling
afghans, unwinding skeins and keeping one’s lap warm.
A cat requires daily maintenance in the form of light

Dog: Another non-mechanical device that is used for
chasing down balls of yarn and putting tooth-mark
engravings in wooden hooks. It’s a high-maintenance
item that does not store easily.

Baby: A valid excuse to crochet something.

Housework: An ancient rite that was performed by some
B.C. women (Before Crochet). Historians believe it may
have had something to do with a device called a
“vacuum cleaner,” which was kept in closets now
occupied by yarn.